Browzar, a web based shell programme that fits over Internet Explorer, and isn't really a browser, launched with a lot of fuss and kafuffle the other day. Why? Because it blocks you using Google, is in cahoots with Pay Per Click Sites, does nothing to protect privacy and is generally a pile of lies. Yes.
But the ‘Testaments’ on the Browzar site are possibly the most self-defeatingly funny bits of writing from this week. Have a look:
“I just tried auto-complete on my wife’s computer and got: Hitler, Nazi marching, air raid, blitzkrieg, infantry German, Nazi rally, Wehmacht infantry, Wehrmach rally... If she wasn’t a history teacher I’d be quite worried.”
DICKHEAD. So from this we can deduce:
a) You suspect your wife for no reason, as she is doing what she does anyway. Being a teacher. Teaching idiots like you that can't spell Wehrmacht correctly even once in a sentence, or even the same each time.
b) As you admit, there is nothing dodgy about her use of the internet - something you can't conclusively prove from her search results.
c) From b) you can deduce that you cannot jump to conclusions about people based on their search history.
Ask Google – hell, Ask Ask! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.) There’s a reason why they’re not giving the Feds the world’s search info. YOU CANNOT JUDGE PEOPLE ON REASONABLE INTERNET USE. And if the sort of person who is doing really dodgy stuff (like illegal malicious, terror) is using Browzar to get away with it, is that a good product to have out there? So we’re suspecting our wives on one hand, and letting paedo-monsters get away with it on the other? This isn’t security.
“I used to think that the only single girl in the office was hot until auto-complete told me that her most frequent search was ‘stretch marks’.”
Yeah? And? So? What? Did she sprout a second head? If you are going to think she’s hot for superficial reasons, something I admit I have been party to, then why do you care about her searches? How did you find them out, you stalker cock? Wow, she’s not worthy of your weird ass, is she?
Last year, my sister was using my (single) Dad's computer and tried searching her name (which begins with "V"). Good old auto complete came up with "Viagra", turns out that my dad has been buying Viagra.
Yeah, everyone knows it’s plain wrong for older men, or anyone who’s older than the uptight teenager who wrote this to ever engage in any kind of sexual activity. So we shouldn’t need Browzar then…
At the bottom it invites you to share your own story via email@example.com
I suggest you write the most absurd story you can think of. Go on. Send the best fake ones to me too so I can laugh about it.
Come to think of it, maybe the ones on the site are faked anyway? Oh, no way...